EPISODE 9: THE SPANISH ULCER ## CHAPTER 1: THE ROTTEN THRONE Madrid, 1807. Spain is ruled by idiots. King Charles IV is weak and stupid, dominated by his wife Maria Luisa. The queen takes a lover—Manuel Godoy, a handsome nobody—and makes him the power behind the throne. Godoy runs Spain like a personal fief, enriching himself while the empire crumbles. Crown Prince Ferdinand hates Godoy, hates his mother, and plots constantly to take the throne from his father. The Spanish court is a cesspool of intrigue, conspiracy, and mutual hatred. Napoleon watches from Paris with contempt. "These people cannot govern themselves," he says. "Someone must take Spain in hand. It may as well be us." The strategic calculus seems obvious. Spain controls Portugal—Britain's oldest ally, a gap in the Continental System through which British goods flow into Europe. Close Portugal, and Britain's economic blockade is complete. "We will march through Spain to conquer Portugal," Napoleon decides. "And once we are in Spain... we shall see what opportunities arise." --- ## CHAPTER 2: THE SPANISH TRAP French troops cross into Spain in late 1807. Officially, they're allies—passing through on the way to Portugal. In reality, they're positioning for a takeover. French garrisons establish themselves in key Spanish cities. French commanders "secure" strategic points that have nothing to do with Portugal....